Education & Family

What the NFL Didn’t Teach Me About Sex

After I realized that, I started celebrating issues like vacuuming and making it identified to Vicki. “I’m vacuuming baby, what’s up?” 

Seriously, I realized bodily intimacy doesn’t solely need to do with the bodily side of issues. It’s her seeing and feeling, “Oh, you care about me and the things that I care about. You’re partnering with me. You are doing things that take a load off of me.” It’s additionally studying easy methods to love her, easy methods to encourage her, easy methods to be along with her.

Touching the coronary heart

Let me (Vicki) chime in right here. This is extraordinarily essential in 12 months one, however in all probability extra essential in the later years of your marriage. We are 30 years in. Our our bodies will not be in the identical bodily situation, and Derwin can now not chase down a grown man running a 4.5-second, 40-yard sprint. There are extra flabs than abs. Things have modified. We have modified, and love calls us to vary with our spouses.

I discover superb magnificence in that. This is the purpose it’s so essential to the touch the coronary heart earlier than making an attempt to take off the garments. This applies to 12 months one in marriage, in addition to 12 months 30. And that’s really a part of the enjoyable in marriage. This provides you extra alternatives to let your love develop deeper in additional areas—past physicality. In these later years of marriage, emotional, mental, and religious intimacy are way more essential. And you really turn into one in Christ.

And let me inform you one thing. It will get higher at each single degree, however what makes it higher is a Christ-centered focus and the Holy Spirit’s presence. What a fantastic place to be in your marriage! And as my husband mentioned, it’s one thing you received’t study from the NFL or no matter your focus is. But it’s one thing that may final a lifetime and create an intimate, loving marriage.

Create a greater story in your marriage with FamilyLife’s Art of Marriage™

Want to attract nearer to your partner?

Consider speaking by way of the following: 

  1. What do you assume makes you attractive to your partner? 
  2. What makes your partner attractive to you? 
  3. Discuss the “whys” behind what you shared in the above questions.

Follow up with a brief prayer. Thank God for making you each “fearfully and wonderfully” made. Thank Him for creating ranges of intimacy that aren’t restricted to only the bodily. Ask for His assist in studying the methods you possibly can love your partner higher and in seeing all the fantastic methods He created them. Ask that your marriage could be an act of worship and provides Him glory.


Adapted from Drawn Together: A Couples Devotional. Copyright ©2023 by FamilyLife Publishing. All rights reserved.

Derwin and Vicki Gray have been married over 30 years and have two grownup youngsters. In 2010, they based Transformation Church (TC), a multiethnic, multigenerational, mission-shaped church close to Charlotte, NC. A former NFL participant, Derwin obtained his doctorate at Northern Seminary, and he’s the writer of a number of books, together with the bestseller, How to Heal Our Racial Divide. Vicki is at present in graduate faculty at Wheaton College, pursuing an MA in Ministry Leadership.


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