Education & Family

4 Ways to Honor Your Mother as a Married Man

I’m an solely son. I’d give you the chance to purchase a non-public island with a number of yachts if I had a penny for each time I’ve heard the road: “Oh, what a mama’s boy. How precious.”

Frankly, I don’t know many grown males that like being referred to as a mama’s boy. I like my mother, however being referred to as a mama’s boy makes me really feel like I’ve her misplaced in my priorities. Many guys despise the time period a lot they throw out all expressions of affection towards their mothers in an effort to come throughout as “mature” males. 

But then a few of us depart our mothers and cleave to our wives so nicely we neglect to contemplate a mom’s place in our lives after we get married. 

So, how do you honor your mom as a married man with out misplacing her in your priorities? 

How to honor your mom as soon as your married

Once we are saying “I do,” our wives ought to take a increased precedence than our mothers. That might be onerous. 

As we start lives and households of our personal, our each day schedule turns into extra of a balancing act of priorities. Our efforts to honor Mom unconsciously get knocked down on the to-do checklist, even additional than the place we had her as a teenager.

God says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). But He additionally says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). 

As a married man, you possibly can’t give your mother all of your time. But when she does have your attention, you possibly can absolutely honor your mom in the way in which God calls you to. 

It’s not an unique checklist, however listed here are a few tips I’ve jotted down that assist me virtually honor God in honoring my mom as an grownup son. 

1. Connect together with your mother.

Talk to your spouse and ask her to brainstorm with you about a healthy steadiness in creating intentional occasions to constantly join together with your mom (and presumably your mother-in-law) whereas nonetheless placing your marriage and kids first. 

  • Mark your calendar and schedule time to name mother and actively have interaction. Find a approach to get snug with giving and receiving updates about how life goes. You is probably not ready to name her on a regular basis, however deliberately find time for mother, particularly if in case you have a busy way of life.
  • Reflect on good recollections collectively and ask her conversational questions. (Ex: What was it like transferring all of us to a totally different state within the ’80s?) Allow your coronary heart and thoughts to genuinely be curious and fascinating. 
  • When you do speak, strive your greatest to be actively concerned within the dialog. Give greater than sure or no solutions. Listen and consider cheap areas of want in her life that you could lean into.
  • Express your love for her. “Mom, I really do love you. I never say it enough.”

If you simply bought married, you may also honor your mom by respectfully speaking about that new dynamic along with her as a substitute of getting a fixed battle over expectations. Sons, as nicely as moms, can really feel the pressure of adjusting tides if we don’t speak about new dynamics and simply assume we’re all on the identical web page.

If this is a matter in your relationship, pray about it first and gauge when to speak together with your mother.

My colleague, Carlos Santiago, gave me a nice instance:

“Mom, I love you. Thank you for raising me to follow God. I want to be the godly man that you raised me to be. I’m a husband now, which means my wife’s needs must now come before yours. I will always love you and always do anything I can for you, but there will be times when I must say no. There will be times that I might make decisions that hurt or disappoint you for my wife’s benefit. This is not a rejection of you. It is me trying to be the godly husband and father you raised me to be.”

2. Celebrate your mother. 

When it’s her birthday, Mother’s Day, a milestone of any type, and even when an accomplishment comes up, do your half to acknowledge her as a son. 

Maybe schedule sending flowers, a handwritten letter, make a put up on social media, or make her an album of recollections. When the chance exhibits up to rejoice her, do one thing good she would really like. 

I’ve even taken a step to ask my mother, “How do you typically like to be celebrated? I want to make sure the moments I have to honor you, I do it well.”

I took be aware of her response:

  • “I love receiving pictures of my grandbabies. They make my day brighter.”
  • “When I see you living for God, it makes my heart happy.”
  • “I really enjoy spending time with you all.”

It won’t at all times work out simply, however embrace alternatives the place you and your spouse can rejoice your mother collectively.

Grab our month-long plans for a extra related relationship.

3. Be understanding together with your mother

As we develop from our moms’ tumbling toddlers to grown males, we start making grownup choices, and we’re not at all times in concord with Mom. 

I keep in mind deciding on milestones like my first condominium or sharing particulars of my relationship life and never aligning with my mother on each element. I mirror now and see my immaturity, however I additionally see how my mother may’ve been fighting change and my independence. 

When your relationship together with your mother will get a little out of tune as dynamics change, watch out not to dishonor her in heated moments of expressing your maturity (Proverbs 30:17). 

Instead, ask God to offer you knowledge and understanding whenever you disagree. If you ever really feel she could also be out of line, discover peace that God sees the complete image. Your job is to honor her. 

It’s additionally a actuality that a few of us don’t have a good relationship with mother. Every man doesn’t have the identical scenario, however we are able to discover peace with God in honoring our mother by means of a journey of forgiveness and kindness (Ephesians 4:32).

Sometimes, our wives don’t have a good relationship with our mothers. In-law relationships might be onerous. If you end up on this scenario, know that it could be too large of a problem for you. But nothing is simply too large for God. Continuously give your issues to God. Read “5 ideas for loving in-laws” and ask Him to gracefully present you the half you must play for His desired relationship between your spouse and mom. 

4. Pray to your mother.

Ask God for His management to honor your mom nicely. It’s not an effort we are able to do on our personal and we’d like His assist, for positive! You also can use your data about your mother’s life and her issues, alongside God’s Word, as matters of prayer on her behalf. 

When I made it a aim to pray for my mother, it wasn’t straightforward arising with matters to take into consideration. Here are some common concepts you possibly can contemplate when praying to your mother:

  • Ask “How can I pray for you, Mom?” Take these requests to Jesus.
  • Pray for her relationship with God.
  • Pray for her psychological, bodily, and non secular health.
  • Pray for the neighborhood that surrounds her.
  • Pray for God’s function to be lived out in her life.
  • Pray for her safety.
  • Pray for her confidence in Jesus.

How you honor your mom issues to God

God didn’t give an age or seasonal restrict on how lengthy a son ought to honor his mom, however our reference to Mom does change through the years. As we get older and alter, so does she, however her worth in our lives won’t ever fade. 

Family relationships matter to God. How you honor your mom issues to God. 

As we turn into leaders in our houses and corners of the world, God wishes us to love our moms nicely. It is probably not fashionable, however honoring your mom in a godly approach will at all times be a pivotal a part of your life and journey as a married man. 

Copyright © 2023 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Ashford Sonii is a author for FamilyLife. He enjoys ministry, studying, and speaking sensible life purposes of God’s Word inside marriage, household, and the way to stroll with Jesus. Ashford and his spouse, Olivia, at present stay in North Carolina with their twin girls, Ivey and Oakley.

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