When Jean and I first entered premarital counseling, we knew that we have been meant for one another. We enjoyed most of the identical issues and have been alike in virtually each method.
When we completed our final session every week later, that had all modified. We have been each considering, “Wow, we are nothing alike!” And we have been questioning, “Are we going to be okay?”
At some level, each couple acknowledges their variations, and one thing unusual occurs once they do: The entire concept of “two becoming one” will get become, “My spouse should become more like me.”
When writer and blogger Melanie Shankle realized how completely different she and her husband have been, she had a revelation. Instead of resisting his variations at each flip, she determined she might deal with him with the identical grace that she would her greatest girlfriend.
And grace is what “becoming one” is all about. No couple is aware of forward of time what “in sickness and in health” means till one of you truly will get sick. You gained’t know what “for better or for worse” means till your partner does one thing unlovable, and you select to remain dedicated to your marriage anyway.
To grow to be one flesh, embrace your mate’s variations, reasonably than combat in opposition to them. Healthy marriage is about discerning which hills are value dying on and which of them are worthy of compromise.
If you and your partner are getting caught in your variations, we might help you get unstuck on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “The Joys and Challenges of Marrying Your Opposite.” Melanie Shankle not solely shares wonderful recommendation, however she’ll additionally provide you with a number of laughs alongside the best way. She’s enjoyable, and I do know you’ll take pleasure in our dialog.
I additionally encourage you to take a number of moments to strive our free marriage assessment on-line device that may provide help to shortly decide what’s working nicely in your relationship, and areas the place you could want some enchancment.
Melanie’s e-book, The Antelope in the Living Room: The Real Story of Two People Sharing One Life: A Memoir, is offered for a present of any quantity. Visit our website or give us a name at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).